15 Ways Manny Rutherford Failed a Job Interview

1. Wore a clown suit after he asked his friend for sartorial tips and the resulting advice of ‘Wear a suit’ wasn’t clear enough.
2. When asked what he’d like to drink, enthusiastically answered, ‘A vodka martini, please! It’s five o’clock somewhere, hey?’ with a wink and an elbow nudge to the other interviewer, a woman who’d worked there for fifteen years and hated every minute of it.
3. Backflipped into the room to ‘show off his personality’, toppled two chairs and broke a projector.  
4. Introduced himself to HR as ‘the person who’s going to take your job’. 
5. Brought along an emotional support tarantula, tripped over his shoelaces, and screamed, ‘He’s gone!’ when he noticed the box had opened by accident. Three departmental teams spent the rest of the afternoon looking for it, while an ambulance carried away the managing director, who’d collapsed in shock due to a deathly phobia of spiders. 
6. Brought his erotic Braveheart fanfiction instead of his resume.
7. Brought his fifth-grade science report instead of his resume.
8. Brought someone else’s resume instead of his resume. 
9. When asked what his greatest strength was, replied, ‘50 kg!’ and tried unsuccessfully to lift the table. 
10. Ate grapes throughout the interview and spit out the seeds after every question, then took out a bag of soil and a pot and started planting them while answering the questions, because he didn’t want them ‘to get too comfortable with unemployment.’ 
11. When asked, ‘Why is a manhole cover round?’, pulled out a large laptop, wireless keyboard, wireless mouse, trackpad, set of blunt pencils, a pencil pot, a small succulent, a motivational desk calendar of ‘Cat-spirational’ quotes, two rubber ducks, another succulent, and the pot he’d planted the grape seeds in, and set up a pseudo desk space to try and google the answer.
12. Cheese. You don’t want to know.
13. Asked if they could have the interview in the arcade across the street, because he’d been trying to beat the high score on the basketball game for three days and had almost beaten it, so, ‘Pretty please?’ 
14. Instead of doing research on the company, he went down an internet rabbit hole of researching golf course design principles, so when he went for the interview after two hours of sleep, he asked, ‘What company is this?’ 
15. Never turned up, because he went back to researching golf course design principles and forgot he had another interview. 

(Legend has it that he’s still searching for his perfect job to this day.)